Tim Keller, through the lens of what he's learned from John Newton, thinks about how we deal with character flaws.
The final result of all this is that people cannot see their sins because they are looking only at their virtues. ...Christians do not work on the supernatural graces of the spirit that are not natural to us, and that mitigate or eliminate the dark side—the besetting sins—of our nature.
So how can we be shaken out of our lethargy and awakened to our need to grow? Here are some principles that I have gleaned from Newton’s letters over the years.
1. Know that your worst character flaws are the ones you can see the least.
2. Remember that you can’t learn about your biggest flaws just by being told—you must be shown.
3. Be willing to listen to correction and critique from others.