Family

Coming Attractions 11.18.10

Coming_attractions-786898 Here are a few things in the works...

1. Ads: You can see that I'm gearing up for some advertising on the right sidebar. I've thought about it for a long time & had some advertisers express some interest. I'm going to give it a go. It would be financially helpful for my family during tight times. If you are interested, click on an "Advertise Here" link. 

2. Links: I also want to add that whenever you see a link of mine to a book or music on Amazon with the Reformissiona-20 tag on it, that means I get a small cut for recommending it. It adds nothing to your cost. It's the same as if you went straight to Amazon. Essentially by buying products with my link you get same good price and help supply my book budget. I have no other book budget than this. Thanks for supporting it. And I work very hard not to just point you to anything in the hope of making some cash. I skip over recommending many deals that I don't personally want to recommended.

3. Reviews: I have reviews coming on Tim Keller's new book, Generous Justice, and Jim Elliff's reworking of Pursuing God. Both are great. Hope to get to both very soon.

4. Writing Projects: I have several blog articles in the works that have been fermenting for a while and that I'm excited about. I want to get a regular schedule for posting articles in the next couple of weeks. Look for that. I'm saying it publicly so I feel guilty if I don't get it started. :)

5. Phriday is for Photos: I haven't been very active in photography lately, but I'm also planning on getting it kicking again. 

6. Molly: I know it doesn't seem like a very cool "coming attraction," but expect more soon about my wife's battle with Chiari I Malformation. The blog has helped her to connect and minister to many women who are suffering the same things and scared. 

7. Tim Keller Resources: It's been a while since I seriously worked on my TK Resource page. Without doing anything a few things there look broken. I hope to get it back in shape for your resourcing pleasure.

Molly Update 11.9.10

1242935299968It's been a long time since I gave an update on Molly, mostly because there has been nothing new. She has been great. That started to change a month ago. 

Over the last month Molly started to experience small, though not insignificant symptoms from Chiari. Read all the old posts on Molly & Chiari. Or check out an initial post from 2007 on what Chiari I Malmformation is.) On Friday she woke with a massive headache that caused her to vomit most of the day. Late Friday that was done, but other symptoms began and were full-on. She easily loses her balance, struggles to finish thoughts (brain fog), gets easily overwhelmed, has significant muscle weakness and some numbness in her arms and legs, and more. It's been consistently bad since Friday.

That's not a long time, and she has dealt with some symptoms from time to time and had them subside. That happened last year. But it hasn't been this bad since before her last brain surgery. We still are hoping and praying for the symptoms to go away, but they are bad enough that contacting Molly's doctor was necessary.

I emailed Molly's doctor, Dr. David Frim, at the University of Chicago Hospital. He responded today and said that it's time to initiate another evaluation. We are waiting for his assistant to respond and, we assume, make an appointment for us at U of C. We don't know anything about what tests that may require (MRI, spinal tap, etc). 

We have prayed for the symptoms/problem to go away, but were talking today about how God's power will be made perfect through her weakness (2 Cor 12). I'm assuming that's why she wanted me to use the above graphic for this post. :)

I'll post more when we have more info. If anyone can pray, please pray for God to be glorified through this, and to be merciful to Molly.

Also, if you can, pray for me as I will be spending a significant amount of time with her as she is losing ability to be out of the house for an extended period of time on her own. We ran errands on Monday and I don't think she could have done it without me there. This is on top of tough times in our church where money is tight and I'm busier than I've ever been. This is going to put significant strain on our family and we need His strength for all of it.

Thanks friends. We appreciate you.

Parenting: The Appeal

Frustrated child pic Our kids have been taught to obey us the first time we say something, and they do pretty well. We get a lot of comments from friends and other parents about it, usually with some surprise at how obedient they are. They sometimes assume our kids just happen to have calmer personalities than theirs. That we just got lucky. Truth is, we've been blessed to be around parents who have parented well and taught us by example. You can parent better. You can and should ask your kids to obey the first time you say something.

One thing we've changed as our kids are getting a bit older is an "appeal." Now when we ask for their obedience, they are allowed to ask for an appeal, meaning they can make a request to delay obedience. It's working out really well. It keeps them from being frustrated when they have something they are trying to finish. 

The call to dinner is a perfect example. Usually when the call comes from mom they come running. It's food, after all. But occasionally a kid will yell from the basement, "Mom, can I appeal?" And then they give a reason and mom will ok or not. If you don't do this, I recommend it. It helps kids who have growing responsibilities and who are maturing in wisdom to make arguments for how they can obey without hurting something else they are working on. 

But it doesn't always work out. Last night mom called dinner and Sarah (13) said, "Mom, can I oppose?" Mom, said, "No, you may NOT oppose! But you may appeal." :) 

Do you have any parenting tips to share for kids of similar age? Comment below.

Phriday is for Photos 10.22.10

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This was a favorite playground ride as a kid. It's existed a lot longer than me, and now my kids get to play on it. That's Elijah in the first photo. While you can photoshop blur into a picture, this is just as it was taken. I was riding the other side and my camera was moving at the same speed & direction as E's head while the rest of him wasn't. Pretty cool. The second pic from left to right is Sarah (13 1/2), Daniel (7 1/2), Jack (12) and Elijah (10). See all my photography.

The Candy Man

My boy Jack (11) is Augustus Gloop in Willy Wonka, the summer play here in beautiful Woodstock, Illinois. He gets to perform next weekend at the historic Woodstock Opera House. So that means this song has been play a bazillion times in my house recently. Here it is for you...

NPM: Billy Collins Interview

Billy-collins Listen to this interview of Billy Collins by Christy Tennant of International Arts Mission (IAM). You should subscribe to the IAM podcast. One of the best things on the arts from a perspective of faith out there.

Also check out the most touching Billy Collins poem (to me) "The Lanyard." It's something I like to point to each April in remembrance of my Mom, who died of cancer in April of 2007.

Lots-o-Links 3.16.10

The-links Tullian Tchividjian: Counterfeit Gospels

The good news of the gospel is that both inside and outside the church, there is only One Savior and Lord, namely Jesus. And he came, not to angrily strip away our freedom, but to affectionately strip away our slavery to lesser things so that we might become truly free!

Jeff Vanderstelt: Gospel Hospitality, Gospel Hospitality In Our Neighborhood

As I was just talking to Jayne about this she said many people are willing to do the basics of hospitality, but shut down once it gets difficult and messy. It is at this point, where the Gospel gives us strength to continue AND where the opportunities to give a reason for our hope (1 Peter 3:15) open up because most people (believer and unbeliever alike) know how to be “good neighbors”, however, very few are willing to “suffer” (if we can call it that) for the sake of others.

We have found that the mess and the difficulty of loving hospitality done in the power of the Gospel is one of the most powerful witnesses we’ve had to our neighborhood.

Drew Goodmanson quoting Francis Schaeffer (from sermon)

Don't start with a big program. Don't suddenly think you can add to your church budget and begin. Start personally and start in your home. I dare you. I dare you in the name of Jesus Christ. Do what I am going to suggest. Begin by opening your home for community...

How many times in the past year have you risked having a drunk vomit on your carpeted floor? How in the world, then, can you talk about compassion and about community--about the church's job in the inner city?

Tim Chester reviews ReJesus by Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch

Joe Thorn: Do You Love the Law?

But here's the rub: we can only love the law after it has been fulfilled by Christ on our behalf. The law will only be a delight to us after we have found life by the gospel.

A photo of my wife made the local paper. A photo of our son, Daniel (from a few years back), made a golf website by my SIU golf team buddy, Steve Keeler: DLRGolf.com.

Lifehacker: Create your own QR-Code, like this one for my Tim Keller Resources...

Keller Resources Code 

Lots-o-Links 3.3.10

Bill Streger: Uncool People Need Jesus Too...

I have yet to assess a church planter who wants to move to a declining, smaller city and reach out to blue collar factory workers, mechanics, or construction crews. Not one with an evangelsitic strategy to go after the 50-something administrative assistant who’s been working at the same low-paying insurance firm for three decades now....Why is that?

Brent Thomas: Would You Like To Be Part of a Movement...

Though, on paper, we offer much less than other churches (we “do” Sunday mornings and Community Groups), we are actually asking you to consider an entire reorientation of your life around the Mission of God (Missio Dei), to be part of a movement, to transform the culture of the NorthWest Phoenix Valley through the power of the Gospel.

New resource from TheGoodBook.com called Beginning with God...

Beginning With God helps parents start a Bible-reading routine with their preschool-age children. The beautifully-designed book from The Good Book Company is an easy-to-use companion to the Beginner’s Bible and other popular toddler’s Bibles.

Check out new music from These New Puritans and The Besnard Lakes.

Lots-o-Links 2.25.10

Dave Kraft: What Makes A Leader? series

Hudson Taylor on Evangelism...

Perhaps if there were more of that intense distress for souls that leads to tears, we should more frequently see the results we desire. Sometimes it may be that while we are complaining of the hardness of the hearts of those we are seeking to benefit, the hardness of our own hearts and our feeble apprehension of the solemn reality of eternal things may be the true cause of our want of success.” (via)

GCM Collective (Gospel Community Mission) launches on Monday...

It is a gospel community that lives out the mission of God together, as family, in a specific area and to a particular people group by declaring and demonstrating the gospel in tangible forms. God is moving to create thousands of new gospel communities on mission around the world. Be a part of this movement.

Did I Get Married Too Young?

When my very smart and relatively young girlfriend (she was then 20) first told her father she was thinking of marrying me, he refused to even hear of it. "How much college debt does he have?" he demanded. "What's the rush? Why not wait until your career and finances are established? How do you know he's the one?"

Brent Thomas sees Rob Bell's Drops Like Stars

Just because someone says something very well, that doesn’t mean someone says something very right.

Acts 29 Theology Workbook

Tim Keller: The Big Issues Facing the Church & How Should Churches and Leaders Be Preparing To Address These Big Issues Facing the Church?

Joel Virgo: Pray with Perspective series

Francis Chan: Public Passion vs Private Devotion

Last summer I came to a shocking realization that I had to share with my wife: If Jesus had a church in Simi Valley, mine would be bigger. People would leave His church to attend mine because I call for an easier commitment. I know better how to cater to people’s desires so they stick around. Jesus was never really good at that. He was the one who said, “He who loves father or mother … son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.” (Matt. 10:37 NIV) I’m much more popular than Jesus.

Having come to that conclusion, I came back to the church with resolve to call people to the same commitment Christ called them to. I knew that people would leave, and they have. I found comfort in that because, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.” (Luke 6:26 NIV) Over time though, the conviction can fade, and it gets tiresome seeing people leave. There is a constant pull to try to keep people around rather than truly lead the faithful who remain. When my church was started, I used to tell my wife that I didn’t care if we only had ten people, as long as they really loved God and desired to worship Him with all of their hearts. Where is that conviction now?

Lots-o-Links 2.9.10

Brief Molly Update: Molly has been having some rough symptoms from her Chiari I Malformation the last 2 weeks. Day to day she doesn't know how she is going to feel. For the most part she keeps living and enjoying life and serving others as much as she usually does. In lots of ways she is looking to do more. What a lady! We are hoping the symptoms will just go away, and we believe they will in time. Thanks for praying for her.

I'm reviewing Gospel-Centred Life this week, Lord-willing. Already reviewed Gospel-Centred Family and Gospel-Centred Church.

Jonathan Dodson: 10 Tips for Missional Community Leaders

Jonathan McIntosh introduces us to the vision of Christ City Church in Memphis, his new plant. Maybe you or your church could help support this plant by my friend.

Christ City Church Vision Video from Rethink Mission on Vimeo.

Verge-alicious Stuff...

Francis Chan's animated video played at Verge: The Big Red Tractor...

The Big Red Tractor from Jacob Lewis on Vimeo.

Review: Gospel-Centred Family

G-C FamilyA few weeks back I reviewed Gospel-Centred Church, a workbook by Steve Timmis and Tim Chester. I found it very helpful and I'm using it with some guys at Doxa Fellowship. I have two more reviews of similar resources on the way. In the next week or so I hope to review Gospel-Centred Life by Steve Timmis and Tim Chester. Today it's Gospel-Centred Family by Ed Moll and Tim Chester. All of these books came to me for review from the good folks at The Good Book Company. FYI, I review and promote resources that I like and don't just give everyone a shout-out. If I don't like stuff I won't review it. 

Onto my review of Gospel-Centred Family (GCF). The book, running just over 90 pages, is broken up into twelve lessons/chapters in four main sections.

  • Part 1: A Gospel-Centred Family
  • Part 2: A Grace-Centred Family
  • Part 3: A Word-Centred Family
  • Part 4: A Mission-Centred Family

Like Gospel-Centred Church, each lesson is roughly 5-6 pages long and moves through six segments. The first is a principle--the core of the lesson. A scenario is introduced to raise a dilemma in gospel ministry. Then we consider Scripture (only a reference given so you can use your own Bible) with questions, a section discussing the theology and application of the principle, discussion questions, and actionable items are finally suggested (see the lesson titles).

I enjoyed the workbook a lot and think it will be helpful for the church. Let me start with a few weaknesses in GCF. 

I would have liked if the book dealt early on with God's created purpose for the family. Why do we have families in the first place? Why are we to "be fruitful and multiply"? In some ways this workbook drops in on parents in the middle of where they are and works out of it rather than laying a foundation in the biblical story and then building on it. That's still good, but one chapter on creation foundations would have been nice.

I occasionally disagreed with something, though nothing of great significance. One practical recommendation in GCF is to teach kids obedience by counting to five. The goal is to make it "clear that our children had to obey now" by teaching them to obey by the time we get to "five." But counting to five teaches your kids that they don't have to obey until you are almost done counting. Why not teach them to obey now by teaching them to obey now? Most of the advice is excellent and this one isn't a deal-breaker. But I still think it's odd advice.

Now for the strengths, and there are many more than I will list. I really like this workbook. GCF deals with several crucial issues of parenting with a bunch of helpful, practical advice. I particularly liked the "Grace for a Child's Heart" chapter. We can easily train our children to be legalists if we aren't careful by comparing them to other children, holding grudges against them, humiliating them in public, bribing them to obey, etc. The authors stay cross-focused...

Above all, bring your children to the cross. Teach them about the cross Extol the cross. Thank God with them for the cross. Sing about the cross.

The next chapter is about seeing children as a gift. This is so important right now in our culture. I know few people who truly act like children are a gift from the Lord we enjoy more than a burden to bear. College can't come soon enough for these folks! Sad. And GCF is helpful. Simple changes will change everything: time, conversation, meals, creating things together, games, etc. My favorite is the advice to tell stories. I have so many stories and songs in my head from grandparents and parents. My generation of parents isn't as good at telling stories. Good advice. 

One piece of advice I've just done poorly for too long is to "include the people from the church family in your family time." We used to do that, especially when working with college students. Too infrequently now. Family isn't just about what we do together for ourselves, but on mission to others. How can we be hospitable together? Support single-parents together? Model good family life together? And then GCF encourages us to lead our children to be servants, givers. Simple & concise, yet continually helpful advice throughout this workbook.

I like what the authors said early on in the book, which expresses what we should want for our families...

We're not calling our children to a life of obligation and hardship that they must tough out. We're calling them to treasure! We're calling them to treasure Christ.

Let's do it. 

I can see Doxa parents working through GCF together or on their own. I can see how hitting one chapter here and there in small groups might be helpful. 

GCF sells for $9.99 with discounts in bulk. I highly encourage you to use it with families in your church. 

Lots-o-Links 1.15.10

Links

Praying for the people of Haiti. Please comment with your recommendations on where to donate to help, and feel free to include a link. Redeemer lists three ministries.

If you aren't reading Trevin Wax (Twitter) he's doing good blogging. His book, Holy Subversion, comes out soon. Worth checking out.

JD Payne, my church planting professor at SBTS, author, missiologist, is now on Twitter and blogging. I just got his newest book in the mail, Discovering Church Planting and look forward to digging into some sections that might help during our church renewal process.

Memphis is starting to talk about Jonathan McIntosh.

Mark Dever interviews Matt Chandler, pre-cancer diagnosis.

Brent Thomas is no longer the Baptist he never was.

Brief Molly Update: She is doing well, with no major symptoms or issues. Very blessed. 

Sister Christmas

Willie Xmas Card 2009

My sister was haunted by this doll from my grandma's apartment when we were kids. Rediscovered a couple of years ago...we are now continuing to haunt her with it. She got this in the mail just before Christmas. Love you Julie!