Suburb/Exurb

Suburban Boredom Generates Dramatic Excitement

...the pop-culture view that the suburbs are the place where the American Dream goes to die has an amusing flip side: That culture owes a huge amount of its inspirational vitality to hating the very place where many of its artists grew up and its audience lives. As both these movies and so many other novels, films, TV shows, music and plays over the years have proved, there’s nothing like suburban boredom to generate dramatic excitement.

From "How the Boredom of Suburbia Paves the Way to Creativity"

"Satan In The Suburbs" by Seth McBee

Man yell 155

Seth McBee has written a helpful article called "Satan in the Suburbs." You'll have to read it to figure out why the photo fits. Here's how he opens the article... 

Satan. Lucifer. Beelzebub. The devil. Whatever you want to call him, most of us treat the adversary as though he is a biblical fairy tale. Historically, it seems as though Satan gets too much play or none at all. We either blame everything (including burnt toast) on him, or nothing. Rarely have we dealt with him in the middle, knowing he’s against us, but understanding our Father is greater.

For my life, I’ve mainly dealt with the devil as an afterthought. I have believed in Satan because as the song goes … the Bible tells me so, but I have never believed that he influences my everyday life.  He’s there, but don’t mention him.

Here is what I have found out, practically, about the devil as I have tried to live out the mission of making disciples in my suburban neighborhood:

  1. Satan attacks disciple making.
  2. Don’t be surprised when he attacks.
  3. God is glorious, so we don’t have to fear others, including the devil.

Go read "Satan in the Suburbs" as Seth fleshes out those three points with specifics of how Satan has been at work in his family and neighborhood.

Tim Keller | Center Church Releases Tomorrow!

Center_Church_mini

I'm very excited to have Center Church by Dr. Timothy Keller in my library. It's nearly 400 pages and is packed full of good stuff. It's hard to describe how "packed full" it is until you see it. You can see pieces of it here...

Check out some of the praise it's receiving...

I'm not exaggerating when I say that Center Church is my favorite book Tim Keller has written thus far.
- Scotty Smith, Christ Community Church

This is not simply curriculum content; it is exactly the kind of life-giving, generative gospel theology our churches need.
- Stephen Um, CityLife Presbyterian Church, Boston

This book will help you if you are serious about seeing your city transformed by the gospel of grace.
- Darrin Patrick, Vice President of the Acts 29 Network

In Center Church, one of the great missionary statesmen of our times lays out a vision of the church vigorous enough to transform entire cities through its agency of the gospel.
- Alan Hirsch, Founding Director of Forge Mission Training Network

Watch this video. Note that Keller says, "Things that work in cities often we find work outside of cities as well." This is more than a book for city-center church planting, and as I have said several times, the best books on the church (regardless of where you are located) are urban church books. 

Buy Center Church at 35% off (or 34% off at Amazon, if you prefer).

Lots-o-Links 1.18.12

Web link

The Death of the Fringe Suburb

For too long, we over-invested in the wrong places. Those retail centers and subdivisions will never be worth what they cost to build. We have to stop throwing good money after bad. It is time to instead build what the market wants: mixed-income, walkable cities and suburbs that will support the knowledge economy, promote environmental sustainability and create jobs.

Seven Tips for Talking with Your Neighbors About Jesus

For whatever reason, it’s easy for Christians to clam up and get weird when talking about their faith in the day-to-day. Here are a few tips to make bridge those inhibitions and get the conversation going...

An Appreciation of Bird By Bird by Anne LaMott (get it at Amazon or on Kindle)

I thought I was teetering on the edge of crazy with no way to explain to anyone for fear they would quickly need to catch a bus. I was not crazy, or at least not in an inordinate way. With each turn of the page a brilliant sky of possibility opened up to gaze in. Now I might look crazy to some when looking up into that firmament. But, I knew I wasn't the only one. 

Richard Baxter on Meditation

The duty which I press upon thee so earnestly, and in the practice of which I am now to direct thee, is, “The set and solemn acting of all the powers of thy soul in meditation upon thy everlasting rest.” More fully to explain the nature of this duty, I will here illustrate a little the description itself-then point out the fittest time, place, and temper of mind, for it.

Groundhog Day is coming, and it's Groundhog Days in Woodstock, IL -- the movie Groundhog Day was filmed in Woodstock, IL 1992 and released in 1993. Watch it again this Groundhog Day. And if you are in the Chicagoland area, stop by Woodstock for the festivities.

Re-examining the Suburbs

Suburban3 "Lacking a realistic alternative, it may be time for some of us to re-examine suburbia – with the hope of improving it. Retrofitting the newest batch of exurban subdivisions to resemble Wayne or Brookline is not possible. But as Thomas Turner noted in his Curator article, 'there are people taking back the suburbs from the infestation of Hummers and fast food joints.' People working collectively in neighborhoods they feel invested in may yet have the power to overcome the bad urban design and the single-use zoning of low- density suburbs." 

"Re-examining the Suburbs"
An article worth reading from Andrew Smallman | Curator Magazine

Front Porch Hack

HouseMissional thinkers/pastors often bemoan the loss of the front porch in neighborhood architecture. It used to be the place to relax after the work is done, sip tea, interact with our neighbors, etc. The back porch has become prominent, and it's where we hang in seclusion from our neighbors and do our own thing. 

Here's a "front porch" hack: Turn your garage into your "front porch." 

Drive down your suburban street sometime and notice how the garages are the most prominent feature on the homes. It's right out front. It's an ugly design. And when lumped in together with missing or minuscule front porches makes our homes seem missionally helpless. We can redeem that by hacking the garage to make it a place of neighborhood friendliness, fun and conversation. 

Three easy steps.

1. Clean It Out. Toss stuff in the trash. You don't need some of that stuff. Give stuff away. Find another place for it. Tidy up whatever you need to leave in there. Make as much space as possible. If you think you can't, you're wrong.

2. Fill It Up.  If you don't have one in there already, put in a fridge (even if only a college-sized one). Put yummy stuff in that fridge. Drinks, snacks, more drinks. Can't afford that, at least put cold stuff in a cooler. Then get a dart board, a bags set, iPod speakers/radio, chairs, basketball hoop, frisbee, or whatever you and others find fun. Keep the door wide open. Let the sound & fun bleed out into the neighborhood. Take the grill from the back porch and put it in the driveway.

3. Invite & Be Inviting. Start right after work. Wave at folks in as they drive home from work. Ask them over. Wave them over. Yell as they get out of their car, "Come on over!" Give them an special invite, if that's helpful. Offer them something to drink and ask about their day. Play a game. Stuff will happen naturally as neighbors feel welcome and stop by regularly.

Hard to get rained out (it's covered). You can do this regularly in most seasons as it's inside-ish (get a heater, fan, etc to stretch that time out). 

Don't just do this every so often. Make it a rhythm of family & neighborhood life. I think it will make for a nice front porch for your home, and a great way to share life with your neighbors.

Summerbia: Connection Tools

A few weeks back I wrote about connecting with suburbanites during the summer.I mentioned participating in cultural events, being servants through things like coaching sports, and having hospitable events like cookouts.  With 5 full weeks left we still have a lot of great opportunities to connect. I’ve noticed in my life and in the life of my family that 5 tools have stood out this summer as helpful for connecting with our neighbors. Here they are for you. I hope you’ll add to the list.

invite-cards11. Invite Cards — My church, Doxa Fellowship, just recently had some branding work done and immediately had some invite cards created. If your church doesn’t have them, I highly recommend getting some done. They are simple, attractive business cards with key church info.  On ours we have the church name, website and email on the front and our Sunday location and time, including a map, on the back.

I have invite cards in my wallet, backpack, both cars, camera case, etc. I don’t drop them under windshield wipers or “accidentally” leave them lying around. The last thing people need is to feel like your church is the same as the going-out-of-business furniture store. I use them relationally. They give a better connection to our church when meeting someone or having a conversation.

I think after a shipping snafu we ended up paying $25 for 1,000 cards. You can get them plenty cheap, and they are of great value.  I pass them out all the time. I keep them in front of my face as an encouragement to use them. I have a stack by where I set my wallet and keys. I put 3 on the table at the café when I sit down to read or work and see if I can give them out before I leave. It’s a great tool.

tennis-ball2. Tennis Ball — I have two sports-oriented kids who will watch girls softball if nothing else is on. One thing we have learned to do is always keep a tennis ball in the car, in our swimming pool bag, in Elijah’s bat bag, etc. When we are at the pool and they force that 15 minute break, we grab the ball and play “hot box” in the grass. Hot box is where you have two bases, a guy catching at each base, and everyone else is a baserunner trying to advance but not get an out. And guess what. Kids see us playing and want to join in every time we play.

A few days ago we had about ten kids playing hot box at the pool. Just last night we were on the Woodstock Square for a band concert. We took the tennis ball and started up a game of hot box well off to the side. Sure enough others joined in. We’ve connected with parents and kids by just having fun with my kids and inviting others to join in.

A tennis ball is nice because it’s heavy enough to throw hard and soft enough to not damage someone. But if you aren’t baseball oriented try a good nerf football (you need to be able to really throw it or it’s worthless), a frisbee, hacky sack, bag toss (sorry, I won’t call it “c*orn hole). You have nerdy kids? Cool. Embrace it. Bring extra magnifying glasses and invite kids to burn ants. Or if nothing else works, just play a game of tag.

mosquito_repel_deet-7075343. Extra ______ — It’s happened to you. You are at the pool or the park and someone didn’t bring something they needed. Maybe it’s a water bottle. Maybe it’s bug spray or sunscreen. I was golfing several weeks ago and someone needed a Tums. I had one. When you go somewhere, bring extra consumables and be aware of folks around you who might be suffering from forgetting something or a lack of planning. Be over-prepared and generous.

It doesn’t need to just be consumables. Early in the Little League season it was cold and we would have plenty of blankets in the van for our family and for others if needed. Bring an extra umbrella if it might rain. It’s snowing? Bring an extra sled.

The key here is to think of others when planning for your events and outings. Whatever you need for yourself, just add more. We leave bug spray, sunscreen, umbrellas, sweatshirts, wet wipes, lawn chairs, and water bottles in the car pretty much at all times.

4. Camera — I can’t tell you how many times I have my camera with me and see someone trying to get a “family picture” with one member of the family holding the disposable camera. I let them get their shot and then tell them I’m happy to get a photo with my camera and email it to them. They love it. Most often I just tell them I’ll take the photo and they can see and download it on Flickr. I carry Moo mini cards with my name, email address and Flickr address on it.

3727395120_e2a139b845I also like to grab photos of other people and/or their kids in the park, playing baseball, etc, and then give them a Moo card. In the last few weeks Elijah (8) played on the 7-8 year old all-star team. I took a handful of photos, put them on Flickr, and gave a Moo card to every parent and coach. Same with the 9 year old team. Same with Danny’s (6) bittie ball team. The commissioner of the entire Woodstock Little League organization has been grabbing my photos for next year’s book because of it. Lots of great connections. A few weeks ago a woman in Woodstock was getting a photo of her kids by a piece of local art and I told her to pose with her kids and I’d email her the photo.

If you have a decent camera, it can be a great tool for making connections with your neighbors.

k12651495. Courage — How often do you kick yourself for not striking up a conversation? Or are you so bad at it that you just gave up and don’t even feel bad about it anymore? We need a renewed courage to strike up conversations along the way.

I’m an introvert. Everyone in my church thinks I’m an extrovert because I’ve forced myself to learn to strike up conversations when in public, though I’m still learning how.

Having invite cards, tennis balls, a can of Cutter and a Nikon won’t get you anywhere without a little courage to gently push into the lives of others with an opportunity to serve them. Too often people won’t ask for help. They will swat the mosquitoes rather than asking if you might have spray. Often the kids will stand on the sideline and watch us play catch rather than ask to join in.

Once you are prepared with a few “connection tools” you have to be looking and longing to be involved in the lives of others. You have to find opportunities, and open your mouth. “Want to play with us?” “You know, that picture of your wife would look better with you in it. How about if I get a picture for you?” “Skittles?” Once you have a way to connect, go ahead, connect!

Let me know some tools you have found helpful for connecting with your neighbors.

*Originally posted at sub•text

Summerbia

3545514293_25c7662b47_b-199x300 I’m thinking a lot about summer lately. It was one of those wintershere in the Chicago burbs that made me long for summer. Well it’s May now. Summer is knocking and I’m running to the door, eager to embrace my long, lost friend.

As suburban Christians who are looking to love our neighbors summer offers us so many opportunities to connect with them. Summer is the time for cookouts and fairs and going to the park with the kids. The beer gardens are open at the local pub and the farmer’s market is in full swing. People will be taking walks in the neighborhood and going to the pool.

So summer is an ideal time to connect with new folks in your suburb as we enjoy the weather and the culture around us. Here are a few suggestions for your summer from the things my family is doing. I hope you will add your suggestions, stories of stuff you’ve done, and share your plans in the comment section.

Be a Participant

Get involved in the life of your suburb. Find a community calendar on your city’s website and put some stuff on the family calendar. We recently attended a very popular fair in downtown Woodstock. My son and I were in the Little League section of the Memorial Day parade and my daughter was in the middle school band. Molly and the other two kids were enjoying the parade with some local friends from school. Through events like these we’ve met new folks, made new friends, and supported the life of our suburb.

Be a Servant

I’m the dad to four great kids, ages 6-12. I made a commitment to try to be a servant when possible as they get involved in public activities. This works best for me with sports. I’ve coached just about every team they played on. Just last night I sat in on the Bittie Ball (“coach pitch” level) coaches meeting. Daniel (6) is on the Devil Rays this year (Satan’s team). So while I’m already an assistant coach for Little League and soccer, I’m now also the head coach for Bittie Ball. It’s going to be a busy summer, but I get to serve a bunch of great kids and their families by being a coach.  It forces me to learn their names and get to know them, and they want to know me too.

If you are going to serve as a coach or help out at the local school (as Molly does) or help with a summer play or whatever else, you need to do it with excellence. It’s frustrating to have someone in your family in a public activity only to find out the people in charge are incompetent. If you serve, do it well. Truly love your neighbor and consider them as more important than yourself. It not only makes folks love the experience, but it endears them to you.

Serving through various cultural activities also provides us the opportunity to serve our neighbors beyond these events. We often see former team members and/or their parents out in public or at their schools. I will always be “coach” to these kids. One thing we work hard at is trying to have at least one cookout a year for players and their parents. And that leads to another suggestion for your summer in suburbia…

Be Hospitable

For Memorial Day (last weekend) we had a cookout. It was mostly community friends we’ve connected to through local school involvement, but we also invited a church friend or two and a visiting couple from the previous week’s worship service. We had about 40 people there, some I knew well and others I met for the first time. It was a blast. Here are a few things you should do to make your cookout a hit.

- Introduce people. If you are bringing folks together who don’t already know each other, and you should, make sure you introduce them so they all feel comfortable.

- Have plenty of good food. We had too much food because we wanted to be generous. Nothing like a cookout where you feel underfed. And make it good food, please. I don’t want to come to your house if you are going to buy the hot dogs with the highest amount of rat hairs and bone chips. Not all hot dogs and hamburgers are created equal. Get quality stuff. And spice it up. We got burgers at Sam’s and then added a layer of Famous Dave’s burger seasoning. People raved about the burgers, though most of them didn’t know why. You want your neighbors happy.

- Let people bring something if they want to. Sometimes people feel obligated. Sometimes they really enjoy bringing something. Don’t presume on people and don’t ask them to bring something. But if they want to bring something it can be a good thing. It makes them feel like they’re a good neighbor too. For our Memorial Day most everyone insisted. Some brought a dish, or chips and soda. One family brought a ton of Edy’s ice cream they got for free in a contest. It added a super-charge to the cookout that none of us could probably afford otherwise.

- Have plenty to do. We had more games we didn’t use than we used. You are providing opportunities, not a schedule. We had kids playing baseball in the church field, jarts, football, a fire pit as it cooled off in the evening, lots of lawn chairs, sparklers for kids after dark. And think of the little things, too. We fogged the yard before people came to kill most of the mosquitoes and then we had several cans of Off available. We had sunscreen. We had music. We tried to cover all the bases, though we learned a few bases we didn’t cover as well as we will next time.

Make this summer a great one, one where you grow in your relationship with folks around you by participating in the life of your suburb, serving your neighbors rather than waiting for someone else to serve you, and firing up the grill to bring people together.

(originally posted at sub•text)

March '09 sub•text Forum: Ed Stetzer

Dwell2008edstetzerGreat news! New sub•text forum coming on March 12th at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School with Ed Stetzer.  Ed is gonna talk, in three sessions, about the missional nature of the church and what that looks like in the suburban context in practice. It will also include a Q&A session at the end.

Cost is only $25 and includes lunch!  So if you are anywhere near the area this is a great opportunity.  Hope to see you there, and if you have the chance please pass the word on to your friends in the Chicagoland area.

Get more info at sub•text.

sub•text Forum with Al Hsu

Forum_hsu

If you live in or near the Chicago suburbs, there is a great opportunity to learn about and discuss suburban life and ministry, as well as network with other suburbanites. Our first sub•text forum with Al Hsu, author of The Suburban Christian, is coming on Saturday, January 17th at Redeemer Fellowship in Saint Charles, IL from 10:30am - 2:00pm.

It's free and anyone can attend. Check out the rest of the info at sub•text.

Lots-o-Links & Molly Update 7.29.08

Quick update on Molly & Chiari.  Her MRI's haven't happened yet as our local hospitals don't have the equipment to do the specialized ones she needs.  So we either have to go closer to the city or wait until her appointment with her surgeon in September.  Dunno what's going to happen just yet.  I'll let you know.

Some days are better than others right now.  The last few have been pretty bad, though the worst of symptoms from last year haven't shown up yet.  Glad about that.  Thanks for praying for her. 

Here's David Ford's "Song for the Road," which I put up here as a tribute to my wife who is in constant pain, hourly frustrations.  Should she ever wonder if I will be there when she needs me...

Now I know someday this all will be over
And it's hard to say what most will I miss
Just give me one way to spend my last moments alive,
and I choose this, I choose this, I choose this.

Recently on sub•text...
Neighborhood Diversity | Smaller Cities and Towns
Male, Middle Class, and White | Suburbs vs. Christianity

Other links...

Joe Thorn is rebooting his prayer life.  I'm actually planning some extended prayer in the near future.  Good thoughts from Joe.

Al Hsu points to more Andy Crouch Culture Making stuff.  Excerpts and more.

New Wendell Berry short story in The Atlantic.

David Powlison on Breaking Pornography Addiction.

Jonathan Dodson: Dark Thoughts from The Dark Knight

Ben Arment: How to Attract High-Caliber Leaders to Your Church

William Willimon: Pastoral Wisdom

Thomas Friedman's The World is Flat audiobook FOR FREE!  Get it now, only a few days left.

Kay Ryan is the new U.S. Poet Laureate.

JD Greear: Writing Stuff Down

Paul Tripp has a potty mouth, and he's right on the money...

Lots-o-Links & Molly Update 7.29.08

Quick update on Molly & Chiari.  Her MRI's haven't happened yet as our local hospitals don't have the equipment to do the specialized ones she needs.  So we either have to go closer to the city or wait until her appointment with her surgeon in September.  Dunno what's going to happen just yet.  I'll let you know.

Some days are better than others right now.  The last few have been pretty bad, though the worst of symptoms from last year haven't shown up yet.  Glad about that.  Thanks for praying for her. 

Here's David Ford's "Song for the Road," which I put up here as a tribute to my wife who is in constant pain, hourly frustrations.  Should she ever wonder if I will be there when she needs me...

Now I know someday this all will be over
And it's hard to say what most will I miss
Just give me one way to spend my last moments alive,
and I choose this, I choose this, I choose this.

Recently on sub•text...
Neighborhood Diversity | Smaller Cities and Towns
Male, Middle Class, and White | Suburbs vs. Christianity

Other links...

Joe Thorn is rebooting his prayer life.  I'm actually planning some extended prayer in the near future.  Good thoughts from Joe.

Al Hsu points to more Andy Crouch Culture Making stuff.  Excerpts and more.

New Wendell Berry short story in The Atlantic.

David Powlison on Breaking Pornography Addiction.

Jonathan Dodson: Dark Thoughts from The Dark Knight

Ben Arment: How to Attract High-Caliber Leaders to Your Church

William Willimon: Pastoral Wisdom

Thomas Friedman's The World is Flat audiobook FOR FREE!  Get it now, only a few days left.

Kay Ryan is the new U.S. Poet Laureate.

JD Greear: Writing Stuff Down

Paul Tripp has a potty mouth, and he's right on the money...

sub•text

SuburbanhousesJoe Thorn and I have launched a new blog and ministry called sub•text, on the preaching and practice of the gospel in the suburban context.  The blog includes new articles we are writing on suburban mission, quick hits on the latest relevant news and information, interviews with pastors, theologians, church planters and authors concerning suburban mission, and more.  We are also planning a forum for fall 2008 with Al Hsu, author of The Suburban Christian.  More forums are in the works for early 2009.  Head over to sub•text and join the conversation.

Lots-o-Links 5.21.08

Lots-o-Links 4.9.08

Sbcvoices_win_crop_3I have now won the second blog voting contest!  That has picked me up, between the two contests, $175 in online bookstore gift certificates: $50 for Westminster Seminary bookstore, $50 for Amazon, and $75 for Eisenbrauns.  Woohoo!  I will order The Reason for God copies from Westminster and Amazon.  Eisenbrauns was a late addition to the first place prize and doesn't carry Keller's book, so I will be picking up some books for my personal library.   Thanks for all your effort!  And thanks to Scot McKnight for his effort to find some votes for me.

On a side note, the total official vote count for all blogs was "666" as you can see by the screen capture.  While some might find that a bit off-puttin', I think it's awesomely hilarious.

O Lord, let there be a blog contest for the cost of hotel, airfare and conference fee for the Total Church North America Conference.  I WANT TO GO!!!

Carolyn Mahaney: How to Help Your Husband When He is Criticized

John Piper on C.S. Lewis on writing.

Al Hsu on "The New Suburbanists."

Scott Hodge has some advice for those who are thinking about change.

Makoto Fujimura: A Wedding and the City.

10 Questions Every Leader Should Ask

Growing Sustainable Suburbs

Top 10 Myths About Networking

Joe Thorn is now making my voicemails on his cell a matter of public consumption.  I want to be upset, but it represents such a positive side of me that I can't help but propagate it...

Lots-o-Links 1.19.08

Justin Taylor has an interview with Tim Keller about his new book The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism.  I think this book will be a great resource for skeptical friends, due in February

OnMovements (first posted by Sam Metcalf) let's us know How to Kill a Movement.

Nelson Searcy's assimilation book is now out: Fusion: Turning First Time Guests into Fully-Engaged Members of Your Church.  Get some free resources from the Fusion Site.

More free Jerram Barrs' resources (audio, pdf) from MonergismCovenant Seminary stuff.

People are talking about Neil Cole's Organic Church (which just came from Amazon today).  Tim Chester has a thought-provoking post, Seven Principles for Planting Organic Churches.  Chester has another great quote on making new believers evangelists and church planters.  Church Planting Novice explains How to Grow a Missional Church.

SUBURBIA: Watch some James Howard Kunstler on YouTube.  He is often very helpful on issues of suburbia.

Back to the City from Suburbia

Suburbia

"Goodbye, Suburbs" (single page view) is a great article on how some urbanites who move to the suburbs cannot but help moving back to the city, for all the right reasons.  Here's a video to accompany the article.

Loneliness...

Once settled, Ms. Hillen, a stay-at-home mother, embarked on a fruitless hunt for companionship. "Out there, you have to work at being with people," she said. "In a year, I got one play date for my kid. We joined the Newcomers Club, and the day we put our house on the market, they finally called. You'd go to the library for a reading and there would be no one there." She added, "You're a lonely, desperate housewife with nothing to do."

Even the playgrounds were desolate. "And on the rare occasions there was somebody there and you struck up a conversation," she said, "they would literally move away. And they didn't encourage the kids to play together. We were so shocked."

Lawns...

I go home and there's, like, people doing their lawn every five minutes. They seem like normal people but they spend, like, hours working on their lawn.

Kings and kingdoms...

Every day when I came home, I would say to myself, 'I really am a king and this is a castle, and who do I think I am?'

Charming suburbia...

"You go to these little towns and they are very charming and sweet and have all these cute little shops," said Brian Lover, who put his West Orange, N.J., house back on the market just three months after moving there. "But I think when you live in these areas full time, those neighborhood shops aren't so cute. And those neighborhood restaurants that look so great, you know how bad they really are."

The sucking suburbs...

With their baby in tow, the couple stalked the parks and Gymboree classes in nearby Montclair, figuring "that's where we'll find the city people and the cool parents," Mr. Lover said. "But there wasn't anyone we could find a core to. It was all air." As for the city people they'd hoped to meet? "They were city people, not anymore," he said. "The suburbs have some way of sucking the city out of you."